One of my...

biggest vices is the lack of patience.  I so take after my dad in this area. He would fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. 

My dad was so critical of his children, and for me that now translates into defensive behavior whenever critized.  No one likes to be critized, but constructive critisim is good.  It's just that I hate it, and my initial reaction is one of responding in kind or finding an excuse to explain away my actions.

For example, one of my sisters annoys me often.  She has problems with impulse control.  Whatever she feels like saying or doing, she does.  It's nothing shameful, but rather embarrassing behaviors.  She digs through the trash 24/7 no matter where she is...in a fast food restaurant, at a gas station, at a carnival or fair, etc. for recyclables.  She tells her life story to strangers, like the grocery store cashier, oblivious to the long line behind her and the fact that the cashier is not interested in things like her need to be back at the store today because she forgot to buy toliet paper when she was there earlier and then explaining how long the average package lasts and how frequently she has to purchase it.

Along with impulse control issues, she always complains of being tired, offering up her fatigue as an excuse as to why she can't do this or that.  Recently, I needed notarized signatures of all my siblings relating to an insurance claim, but when I went to pick her up at 11 a.m., she explained that she was exhausted and could not possibly go with us until later in the afternoon. However, when I said, "That's ok.  We'll pick you up after we have lunch."  She said, "Oh, where are you going for lunch?" I answered, "Does it matter? You are too tired to go with us." 

Although this sister has a big heart for people in need, she also gets under my skin often with her inappropriate actions and disregard for other people's time. But why did I get so annoyed at such a small thing? Why did I have to respond with a sarcastic remark? She called me on it and laughed it off.  However, I think I was annoyed because she didn't value my needs and I was short on patience that morning from other things occuring in my life that week.

So I took a moment tonight to reflect on this incident and realized that it served no purpose to be rude to my sister.  Although I was initially annoyed, I could have shrugged it off and used it to my advantage.  She could have gone to lunch with us and since she was out for lunch, just taken her to the notary along with my 3 other sisters, saving me a separate trip to get her later. 

So I'm praying for patience, practicing situations and intial responses, and reminding myself to take a moment to relax my mind and body before reacting to anything I perceive as negative that happens to me...just a little moment is all it will take.