at the office. I think I've finally learned my place. At least I hope I have. Through the forces of cosmic inconsistancies and conflicting directives, there is one thing that is true: I am of little consequence in the grand scheme of things. I am not free from fault, I know, but I am trying, every day, to do a good job. I need to step back and focus on the entire picture.
So in this moment, in this time of emotional crisis...I am thankful for the challenge. I am thankful for the strength God has given me to persever. The harder the lesson, the greater the reward when one suceeds in facing obstacles and not giving up...no matter how long it takes.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
When I was a...
young teen, walking where ever it was we had to be, my Mom asked me to pick up a penny we came across. I told her, "It's only a penny!" To which she replied, "Oh, mija, there have been many times when you were younger where all I was missing was one or two pennies and couldn't get what I needed for you girls. You don't know how that made me feel. Please pick it up."
My appreciation for the penny was forever changed. Sometimes, when I just don't feel like picking one up, it's a burden. But mainly, like today, those pennies just remind me of my mom and how much she sacrificed for her children.
I love you, Mom!
My appreciation for the penny was forever changed. Sometimes, when I just don't feel like picking one up, it's a burden. But mainly, like today, those pennies just remind me of my mom and how much she sacrificed for her children.
I love you, Mom!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Isn't it the truth...
That we who believe in Christ focus on Him more when we are struggling? And struggling I am with many things...lack of money compounded with spiraling expenses for one. And that's a big one. With the recent challenge of having to repair my car, it has been necessary to take the bus, walk, and just today, ride a bike to and from work for the past two weeks.
So why am I not depressed? Because my moments to focus on the blessings through this trial these past couple of weeks have outweighed the burdens.
So why am I not depressed? Because my moments to focus on the blessings through this trial these past couple of weeks have outweighed the burdens.
- I've reconnected with Jesus, and have developed a new hunger for the Word.
- Daily exercise, and an appreciation of how very much I needed it!
- A growing calmness in meeting my challenges, which extend beyond just a lack of money.
- A deeper appreciation of the suffering of others and what a small gesture of kindness or acknowlegement means to them.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Still here...
just a little frazzeled lately. Work, work, work...work, work, work. I'm so grateful that I have a job to complain about! Lol...I am grateful about that, but what I've realized lately is that I really need balance in my life. Too much focus on my job is not healthy...the reason for me doing so is not healthy and me doing so is not healthy.
So, I think I'll take the time to enjoy the view outside, look into my grandson's eyes and tell him what a joy he is to me, listen to my heart, smile to coworkers, talk to God, notice my friends, and relax.
Yeah, I'm going to take a moment...several times a day.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
It's really hard...
when you attach yourself to someone or something. You give up a little freedom when you care deeply, keenly aware of changes that threaten your peace - held captive by restless thoughts.
When I was told that my oldest daughter was pregnant, I did not realize just how much that little person would change my life. I love all my grandchildren, but this one is at a disadvantage.
My daughter loves her child, but she is yet a child herself, not ready for the responsibility of raising a child and all that it entails. And throughout the past 3 years, it's been a struggle because on one hand, I don't want my grandchild to miss out on what he deserves. But, on the other hand, I don't want to be a doormat to my daughter, which is really what has happened.
In my struggle to make things right, my daughter has responded with a decision to move out on her own. I think this is the best thing for her; however, I know it is not in my grandchild's best interest...and I'll leave it at that.
Housing, food, utilities, transporation, child care, etc. are very expensive in our area and for someone who has never taken responsibility seriously, she will have a huge adjustment to make. Add that stress to the fact that she has nevered worked and will need to find a job while going to college for the first time, plus the stress of dealing with a very strong-willed child, and you've got the recipe for a bad situation all around.
It's going to be a fierce struggle, and she will "sink or die," so to speak. But I think she will learn a very valuable life lesson either way and grow to understand just how much work it takes to be a responsible adult.
In the meantime, I'm very grateful today that my daughter has agreed to allow me to help her with her child in a very important way. Thank God, and today I say a prayer of thanksgiving and relief.
When I was told that my oldest daughter was pregnant, I did not realize just how much that little person would change my life. I love all my grandchildren, but this one is at a disadvantage.
My daughter loves her child, but she is yet a child herself, not ready for the responsibility of raising a child and all that it entails. And throughout the past 3 years, it's been a struggle because on one hand, I don't want my grandchild to miss out on what he deserves. But, on the other hand, I don't want to be a doormat to my daughter, which is really what has happened.
In my struggle to make things right, my daughter has responded with a decision to move out on her own. I think this is the best thing for her; however, I know it is not in my grandchild's best interest...and I'll leave it at that.
Housing, food, utilities, transporation, child care, etc. are very expensive in our area and for someone who has never taken responsibility seriously, she will have a huge adjustment to make. Add that stress to the fact that she has nevered worked and will need to find a job while going to college for the first time, plus the stress of dealing with a very strong-willed child, and you've got the recipe for a bad situation all around.
It's going to be a fierce struggle, and she will "sink or die," so to speak. But I think she will learn a very valuable life lesson either way and grow to understand just how much work it takes to be a responsible adult.
In the meantime, I'm very grateful today that my daughter has agreed to allow me to help her with her child in a very important way. Thank God, and today I say a prayer of thanksgiving and relief.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I opened my eyes today...
and my room was still clean! I smiled and thought, "It's gonna be a good day." And you know what? It was!
My room is the gathering room when I'm at work. The computer is in there, I have the biggest TV, and my bed is comfy. Usually, I come home and find stuff on and under the bed, baby juice spills on my TV stand, cups and plates and mess, mess, mess!
Hopefully, my room is still nice...I spent a whole day cleaning it this weekend, and I want it to stay that way...it's nice to wake up to a clean room, don't cha think?
Ahhh, but no matter what...clean or messy, I'm just grateful for the people in my life because without them, I'd be very lonely.
My room is the gathering room when I'm at work. The computer is in there, I have the biggest TV, and my bed is comfy. Usually, I come home and find stuff on and under the bed, baby juice spills on my TV stand, cups and plates and mess, mess, mess!
Hopefully, my room is still nice...I spent a whole day cleaning it this weekend, and I want it to stay that way...it's nice to wake up to a clean room, don't cha think?
Ahhh, but no matter what...clean or messy, I'm just grateful for the people in my life because without them, I'd be very lonely.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Little surprises...
always catch me just at the right moment! No gas for my car--luckily work is within a mile of my home; fridge low on food once again and payday still 4 days away--invites from family to come to dinner arrive just at the right time; tired but wake up in time for work every day...yes, I'm blessed.
But the greatest surprise this week came during a mandatory employee meeting at work. You know, one of those meetings you dread going to because you are so busy and have to take valuable time away from your duties to listen to boring content that has to be presented...well, just happens employees were being recognized for years of service in five year increments. I've worked at my job for 25 years and I got a $250 gift card! I wanted to cry in gratitude!!!!
God loves me...even tho i don't deserve it! He's awesome! And my employer ain't too shabby either!
But the greatest surprise this week came during a mandatory employee meeting at work. You know, one of those meetings you dread going to because you are so busy and have to take valuable time away from your duties to listen to boring content that has to be presented...well, just happens employees were being recognized for years of service in five year increments. I've worked at my job for 25 years and I got a $250 gift card! I wanted to cry in gratitude!!!!
God loves me...even tho i don't deserve it! He's awesome! And my employer ain't too shabby either!
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