My mother...

passed away unexpectantly on the evening of January 9, 2012. I am truely at a loss for words, for none can adequately express my feelings. Filled to the brim with feelings that beg for escape, I am unable to comply.

How does one convey the celestial inner beauty of another? Beauty of which others took for granted and did not come into focus until the one that posessed it was gone. The humble, sacrificing, content and happy person that did not receive adequate recognition in her earthly life now shines brighter than any sun.

So, what can I make of this "moment" in my life that brings benefit or gratefulness? Life. My mother's passing has brought into view the parts of me that I want to improve. The need to let go of all pettiness and resentments. In reflection, my mother's virtues became crystal clear. I never, even once, heard her utter in gossip a negative word about anyone. Even with her many challenges, her friends and coworkers would never have guessed what she was going through as they only ever saw her as helpful and ALWAYS with a smile on her face. She was a hard worker and never complained. (I'm not referring to normal complaints about our dirty bedrooms or bad behavior here.) Well, the only thing she ever said (with a chuckle) that was close to a complaint about her lot in life was, "Why do you kids all take after your father in temperment...why couldn't you take after me?"

Thank you Mom. I'm sorry that I took you for granted, and I love you for not holding it against me. You were always there for me, and I'm so grateful for the lessons you taught me, and still teach me even now, and for your unconditional love. Until we meet again, Mom, I love you now and forever! Pray for me.